Me Time

I have met moms last year whom I have shared the benches with nine months. All of us wait for our little daughters in their ballet class. I cannot say we have developed a deep friendship but I would say, each of the moms at least care for the well-being of the other moms. In one of our candid conversations, I have shared that all of us dedicated :-) moms should have our break, a day off or a Me Time. We need to get out once in a while just to recharge and think about ourselves even for just a few hours or a whole day even.

Thursdays are my Me-Time. My day starts with BSF, which is a bible study I have been attending for 6 seasons now or about 5 to 6 years. After BSF, my BSF classmates, who have become friends through the years, and I have lunch in one of the restaurants nearby. We catch up on things, family, business and just about anything. It's our way of reconnecting with one another. Keeping the friendship alive. After lunch I would usually do my errands, pay bills, do grocery shopping. I would do anything on that day. I will not teach during that day but would leave work for my son to do while I'm out. I don't spend the whole day out because by the time we finish our lunch or my errands, I am just too in a hurry to see the kids once again with a refreshed mind, recharged body and renewed spirit, ready to serve again.

Some tips on how to spend your Me-Time:

1. Have an appointment with yourself. Moms need to have at least a few hours in one day without the husband, without the kids. Motherhood can be overwhelming most of the time because we are on call 24/7. That is why we need some alone time, just to step back and take care of ourselves.

2. Plan how to spend your day off. It may be a time to reconnect with old friends, who are also moms who need a time off from the family. Get together and have coffee and just have a good laugh. Laughter is good for the heart :-) Maybe these meetings may spur new ideas on business or part-time work or even new inspiration to workout and be healthy. You may also inspire other moms. Build bridges, build relationships. When you became a mom doesn't mean you have to be "alone" in your world.

3. Start a hobby. This may be a time to restart your old passions and just enjoy them. Passion for writing, for cooking, baking, arts and crafts, fitness, the outdoors. Or it may also spark an interest in reading. Spending your day off with just coffee and a book is time well-spent.

4. Have an eternal perspective. What do I mean by eternal perspective? Your life, where does it all lead to? Have you ever thought of where you are going to spend eternity? How is your relationship with God? Jesus Christ? We need to consider this when we think of eternity. This world and everything in it all are temporary. They will rot away, turn to dust and be destroyed. What is important is knowing who we are and where we are headed. Get to know God. Get to know Jesus Christ. You can do it on your own by reading the Bible or find a bible study group that help you get to know the God who holds the universe in his hand.

5. Beautifying mom. The current business trends today are food carts and spas or salon. There are a lot even in your neighborhood. Get the nails done, scrub those tired and achy feet. Treat that sore back with a massage. Not only will you look good but you will definitely feel good as well. I'm sure the hubby won't mind touching those smooth and silky feet again.

It doesn't matter where you spend your day off or how often you do as long you do have one. It is a must for moms! How can you give love and care to your family if you don't care for your own body. You cannot give what you do not have. If your schedule is too hectic or you just can't leave the kids, again as I said in number 2. Plan ahead. Ask a trusted person to look after the kids for a few hours. I don't think they won't mind, if they care about your well-being too.

If all else fails and you can't go out, do what my friend does. She tells her boys that she will be reading her favorite book in her room and that she needs them to help her enjoy the book by not knocking on the door unless it is important. So far it has worked for her. She did not even spend anything at all. She just needed her kids' cooperation. Or else the monster mom might come out of hiding.

Finishing Strong

As students from conventional schools are ending their school year this week and next week, Coby is just a few weeks away from completing his third grade. Hopefully, we end just before his 9th birthday, which falls on a Holy Week, again :-)

I have already expressed in my previous blog that this year has definitely been a challenge for me as a parent-teacher. Not only do I have a preschooler, who in a matter of weeks learned how to read, I also have a third-grader who has been quite a challenge to teach as he is more independent and been wanting to do things his way. My teaching style and parenting style were no longer working for him, so this old dog needed to learn new tricks, so they say.

The monster-mom out of the closet once again, this time more fierce and more impatient. Most of the time our days would end in tears, in endless apologies, and knees rubbing the floor in prayer. I may have uttered the words "forgive me" numerous times this year and pulled my hair out of exasperation. I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to do this anymore, I would tell myself. I cannot teach my kids and I don't want to teach ever again. I would flood the inbox of my homeschooling consultant's cellphone every time the frustration kicks in. I would send her messages expressing the same sentiments. I cannot do it and I don't want to do this anymore. 

Until finally, I had a heart to heart talk with the  mother of all homeschooling families, Tita Girlie, our family's consultant/family adviser/friend and a pioneer homeschooling parent. She listened to my litany and just really listened. I don't know if I was going to be encouraged or not but she said, "As a parent-teacher, what you are going through is normal. All of us went through that, You are not alone, my friend."

Here are the the three things I picked up from our conversation. 

1. Don't take it personally. If I see my child not behaving the way I expect him to behave, it's not because of ME at all. The action is never directed at me. At times he shows no interest at all to do school, sometimes sluggish or to be more blunt, lazy to do any work. Something is going on inside of him and it's not because of me. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. He is acting out what he feels inside. He is not doing it to show disrespect, he is just not in the mood period. Nothing to do with Mama at all. But if the behavior persists, bad habits might be formed so I should also be mindful of that. 

2. Don't be afraid to take breaks. She suggested doing the Break Box or for our family, we call it the Pick Me Box. It's a box filled with activities written on paper that they can do on their 10 to 15-minute-breaks. We wrote down Draw, Paint, Snack Time, Research on the Internet (because Coby never runs out of questions), Play, Discover the outdoors etc. They pick one paper each and do whatever is written on it. After their breaks, they are energized and ready for the next lesson. Moms need breaks too. When I feel the anger creeping in, I should get myself out of the situation and just take deep breaths. On one occasion, I told him I will just go upstairs on a time out. I went upstairs and prayed until the anger died down. 

3. Nagging never works. I never thought of myself as a nagger. But maybe I never knew that my endless talk is already nagging. If you don't have anything nice to say, keep quiet.

4. Always speak blessings. Use positive words. I should not highlight the negative. For example, in Math, when he forgets how to do a certain operation, instead of saying, "We already studied that, how come you don't know", say, "Do you want me to review this topic again to refresh you?" Use words that would edify, that would build up instead of words that would tear them down. "You are so creative.", "Thank you. You are so helpful." "Good thing you told me that, I never knew that before." 

5. Build character and break bad habits. One thing I like about homeschooling is that Character is incorporated in all the lessons, in daily life to be exact. They learn attentiveness, respect, responsibility, diligence, orderliness and a lot more character traits that are taught at home, practiced immediately at home and used outside the home as well. As they grow up, bad habits will form if we are not firm in guiding them through our parenting styles. Bad habits should be nipped early on by reminding them of the character traits and that ultimately God sees what they are doing and God sees their heart. 

6. Pray unceasingly. Pray for guidance on how to prepare the lesson. Pray for patience when it is drying out.  Pray for creativity to keep them hooked and when helping them make their portfolio.  Pray for discernment in making choices for them. Pray to express gratitude for a joyful homeschooling day. Pray for their future. Pray that they remember Godly character traits they have learned. Pray that they will apply it. Pray that I will apply it also. Pray for successful completion on each day, each quarter, each school year. Pray that the Holy Spirit will mold the children to the persons God wants them to be. 

 

 

Now, armed with a new perspective on parenting and teaching, plus a moment by

moment direct line to God for grace and patience, we are at the tail end of our fourth quarter. Would I still homeschool next year? Honestly, after all the struggles, the tears, the aha moments, realizations and lessons learned, I am considering. The blessings received because of homeschooling  are far greater than the tears and frustration. I would still do it again only if God would allow me to. 

Move the Body, Awaken the Mind

To say that our third year of homeschooling is challenging, is surely an understatement. Coby, who is now 8 years old, is still excited but not about school anymore. He is excited to use the computer and play his heart out doing construction games. He is so eager to watch his favorite cartoon shows on T.V.  Sadly, for this third year, I have to compete with these insidious modes of technology.

I find it difficult to "talk about" the lessons with him now because he seems distracted most of the time. Although, these distractions can be good sometimes when he recalls movies or events that is related to the topic. Like when we were talking about MOTION in Science, he would interrupt me and get his matchbox cars to show me that the cars's position changed because they were in motion. But most of the time, these interruptions are not helpful at all, quite annoying in fact, for the teacher-mom.

His heart has been in the wrong place too, lately. He just seems disinterested and his eagerness to learn is dwindling resulting in the increase of  my emotional outbursts. Because of this, we find each other crying and asking for forgiveness again and again.

Imagine my frustration every time we do school. My student is disinterested, distracted and just have no energy to work at all. Quitting, again, is the quickest solution for me.  I just can't take it anymore. I have asked other homeschooling moms for tips on how to handle my predicament, which they say is common to all homeschoolers, but the advice just didn't work with him.

I read from one homeschooling blog that we cannot confine our boys to textbooks and sitting for a long time. They need to move around. They need to burn those tons of energy stored inside their small bodies. The writer suggests allowing these active kids to run around the house and do jumping jacks. One time, I asked Coby to do jumping jacks, he said he cannot do it and reminded me that he does not exercise.

Coby is not a sports person. He does not enjoy any sports activity at all. We tried soccer, swimming and even jogging but he is just not that into sports. Although, he loves to ride his bike and scooter.


But this morning, I secretly tried something new with him. He woke up early and had his breakfast. Since it was still early to start school and I have not yet completed my morning chores, I asked him to do some physical activity. Since he was riding his scooter inside the house, I asked him to take it outside and just ride it, without him knowing that he was already exercising. He did about 15 to 20 minutes of "scootering" and was huffing and puffing when done.

He said he was tired and wanted to rest first before school. I agreed with him and allowed him relax for a while. He took his bath and was ready for school. We completed all that we needed to for the day and an added bonus was Mama did not get angry! Yahoo! Coby was "pumped up" to work. He completed his work with minimal complaints. I would like to attribute that to the scooter ride. When his body moved, his brain was awakened so to speak. His sleepy mind came to work and it worked well, alright.

A new ritual is now part of our homeschooling day. I am praying that this would really work. I am hoping the effect would not be temporary as he surely enjoys riding his scooter or his bike. Next time, I will let him ride the bike, which would give him more energy, I hope.

Rush Rush

Rush...Hurry...Hasten...Run...

I asked Coby to read aloud his lesson in Language this morning. I noticed he was rushing through the paragraph without even stopping for the periods. I called his attention and reminded him to read slowly and with understanding. I would often catch him at times doing that, rushing himself to complete a task, a lesson or a project. And the results were always not so good. 

There was a need to stop the lesson and discuss this attitude of rushing. When asked why was he in a hurry to read, he could not give me an answer. Maybe he just wanted to finish the lesson right away so he could do something else, play, draw, or watch TV. He did not admit anything though. I pointed out that there was no reason to be in a hurry. He was not in a race, nor is there someone waiting for him to finish. So, why the hurry? I reminded him of our talk a few months back, about having time for everything. There is set time to study. There is set time to play. To eat. To sleep and rest. 

When asked if he could give me topic of the paragraph he just read. He stuttered because he couldn't give me the topic. That's because you were reading so fast you didn't have time to picture the words in your mind. Being a visual learner, Coby needs to have images in his mind in order for him to fully appreciate or grasp the lessons. I reiterated the need to understand the lessons well and not rushing to finish it just so he can complete the task. I told him I would rather that he completes a task in an hour with correct answers than completing the work in five minutes but with endless revisions and corrections. 

I asked him to remember how he was able to create beautiful works of art in his art class. They were all done well because he was not in a hurry to complete the artwork. He just enjoyed what he was doing and so the results were fantastic. The same principle or attitude can be applied to studying or even life. Completing the task hastily would get the job done alright, but how would it turn out? 

There is a time for everything. We don't need to rush into things or make things happen hastily. Everything has it's own time. 

God's word says it best in Ecclesiastes:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:

a time to be born and a time to die,

a time to plant and a time to uproot,

a time to kill and a time to heal,

a time to tear down and a time to build,

a time to weep and a time to laugh,

a time to mourn and a time to dance,

a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,

a time to embrace and a time to refrain, 

a time to search and a time to give up,

a time to keep and a time to throw away,

a time to tear and a time to mend,

a time to be silent and a time to speak,

a time to love and a time to hate,

a time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiates 3:1-8

Our Little Can Read

Homeschooling this year is different than the previous years. Primarily, because I have a new student. Our youngest, Jianne, just entered Kindergarten this school year. I have no idea how to divide my time between a third-grader and a preschooler. But again, I know that if God calls me to do this seemingly impossible task, He will equip me with patience and creativity. As expected, He never fails to do so. He has been faithful despite my impatience, my disobedience and my laziness. Despite my insecurity, He has blessed me recently with the first fruit of Jianne's homeschooling journey. In a matter of 6 months of homeschooling, Jianne is able to read independently.

We used the Sing, Spell, Read and Write Reading Curriculum for Kindergarten. The set includes a CD of songs included in the lesson, short vowel sound charts, two activity books for the student, a teacher's manual and five mini story books.

As many longtime homeschooling families attest to the effectiveness of the said curriculum, I need to find out for myself. The curriculum, as it is so implied in the name, allows the student to sing letter sounds first rather than memorizing the alphabet. The student listens to the songs in the CD, which is included in the curriculum set, and by heart learns the letter sounds. After a week or two of listening to the cd, she doesn't want to hear it anymore. She would just sing it on her own. There are also other numerous activities included in the curriculum that a parent or teacher can use to reinforce such learning. But because Jianne learns quickly, we skipped some of the activities as she gets bored with the repeated activities. I would download other activities for her to work on when she is not in the mood to work on her Sing-Spell.

She is just so excited to read, that on the first month of schooling, she is so eager to read the mini storybooks included in the set. She would be the one to tell me that would like to do school that day.

Like I said, just last month, Jianne started reading on her own. Both of us were ecstatic. I can't believe she can actually read. I am thankful for the opportunity to teach my kids. I am grateful that the time I spent with her paid off.  I was doubtful of my own abilities in the beginning to teach my child to read but as God calls me, He equips me. I know I have nothing to do with it, it was all of God's doing, I was merely an instrument. I realized now that no amount of money can ever pay the opportunity given to me to reap the fruits of our family's obedience to God's call to homeschool.

Jianne was so hyped of this achievement that she prayed, "Lord, thank you for allowing me to read. I don't have to ask Mama and Papa to read me a book anymore. I can do it myself." But we still need to read to her. In fact, my husband and I still read to his older brother, who is now 8 years old. Not that he needs assistance in reading but he enjoys the time we spend together reading his chapter books. Time spent with your children is never a waste of time.

How Does Your Child Learn: The Different Learning Styles

The Science teacher explains the leaf system in class. Jonah, who sits at the back of the class, enjoys Science a lot and he is just too eager to learn about how leaves actually make food. Although, the teacher uses visual aids, Jonah still can't appreciate the lesson because he is just too far from the board. So what does he do? He gets bored and tries to strike a conversation with his seatmate. 

Katie, who is in the same class as Jonah, is seated in the front row, right in front of the teacher. She sees the chart, the colorful pictures shown by the Science teacher but she somehow dozes off to lala land without the teacher seeing her. 

Matthew, who also finds the lesson interesting, feels that there is more to this Science class and sneaks out of the classroom to investigate in the school garden. 

Jonah, Katie and Matthew learn differently from each other. All three students have different learning styles.

Jonah: The Visual Learner

Because Jonah was seated at the back row, he could not appreciate the lesson. The lesson interesting to him but because he has no direct access to the visual aids he cannot completely grasp what the teacher is talking about. Visual learners learn more when they SEE the actual actual pictures or drawings being presented. They learn more when they READ themselves rather than somebody reading to them.  Grasping the lesson would take time as they are trying to visualize or picture the subject in their minds. So, getting the attention of visual learners could be a challenge unless you provide them with vivid, colorful pictures or provide the actual objects. Field trips could also be beneficial too for these kids as they could see the real thing in real life. Visual learners would be delighted with art classes, photography classes, and cartooning.

Katie: The Auditory Learner

While Katie is seeing the pictures presented by the teacher, she feels overwhelmed because not only is she having a visual representation of the subject but she is also hearing it closely. Auditory learners, learn more when they HEAR the lessons instead of having a visual experience of it. I remember when Coby was in preschool, the teacher told me that every time the teacher explains a subject to him, Coby does not seem to be paying attention. But when the teacher asks him to repeat what she said, Coby would echo the lesson back to her in toto. He does not need to see what is being talked about, all he needs to do is hear the speaker. Auditory learners work well with music on their background. You will find them, sometimes, humming while playing, eating or just busy doing something. I would like to believe that they also love to talk and finds comfort in vocally expressing themselves. Auditory learners would be excited to learn how to play musical instruments, attend dance classes or take up singing lessons.  

Matthew: The Kinesthetic Learner

Matthew wants to absorb the lesson well, so he goes out and searches for plants. He wants to touch them, smell them and look at them. He needs to touch everything. He needs to manipulate objects and learn from it. He needs to move. In Math, kinesthetic learners would appreciate manipulatives like coins, pebbles, sticks and counters. They also love to use clay, play with sand or building blocks. These kids move around a lot, because their brains are telling them to. They do not do it intentionally to irritate people, it's just how they are wired. They also enjoy tinkering things. Small kids would accidentally destroy a toy because they want to find out how things work. Kinesthetic learners would probably enjoy sports or gymnastics. 

All children, including adults have different learning styles. It is said that all three are seen in each individual but only would stand out which could help your child/student learn well. Figure out what your child's learning style is and provide the necessary tools that would enable him/her to absorb the lessons well. Just because one style stands out doesn't mean, the other styles should be left out. Allow the child to also develop other learning styles to create a holistic approach to learning. 

You can check out http://www.homeschoolviews.com/quiz/quiz-child.html to determine your child's learning style. Remember too that each child was created by God to have their own unique character traits, gifts, and innate intelligence. 

Once There was a Storyteller...

I received a phone call from my editor-friend, Beng Alba, two weeks ago. She said that she recommended me to fill in for her as a storyteller for a book table event of OMF Lit Pergola. I was surprised that she would even think of me, gosh! I would only read stories to my kids but I never imagined doing it "professionally" (naks). I was hesitant but Beng showed that she had faith in me and so I said yes.

A few days later, another call came from Gracia, the bookstore manager, who confirmed the gig. Again, I hesitated and shared with her that I was really nervous since it's going to be my first time and I doubted if I could pull it off. But Gracia, patiently listened to my whining and still insisted I get the job.

The Boy Who Doesn't Like to Take a Bath by Beng Alba

The book, "The Boy Who Doesn't Like to Take a Bath", which was written by Beng, was given to me so I could study it.  It was a funny story so I immediately read it to my kids and it was my preparation for the actual storytelling session. I had to project  my voice and use varying tones to highlight the different characters in the story. Both Coby and Jianne enjoyed the story and begged that I read it again -- for the next several days.

Friday came, my storytelling day! I was a nervous wreck! I changed outfits maybe three or four times. I had to pick the right clothes, you know. It had to be something colorful so the kids would pay attention (that's my personal theory, right there). So after asking God to be with me that day and my kids in tow, we headed to the preschool before 9:30 A.M.

The bookstore staff were already there because they had set up their book table. Gracia, with her contagious smile, gave me final instructions before the host/teacher called on me to start.  With hands shaking and heart pounding like a jackhammer, I got hold of the mic and introduced myself to the little people. Taking my kids along really gave me a confidence boost because I know no matter what happens, they will support Mama.

Storytelling went well during the morning session. It was fun to hear the kids' reactions while I was narrating and some were even predicting what's going to happen next in the story. I guess some of the questions I prepared were a bit complicated for the 3 to 5 year-old's, so with the help of the other teacher, I modified them so the kids could answer. And the kids who answered correctly (all of them did) received a prize from OMF Pergoal c/o Gracia.

The afternoon session was different. The confidence kicked in and I was not distracted by the tantrums of one toddler. At the end of the session, I was surprised to receive a token and a Certificate of Appreciation from the school! I had it displayed on top of our bookshelf at home.

With Teacher Gina and Ms. Mara

As we headed back home, Coby asked me. "Mama, what do you call yourself now?" he inquired. "I mean, what you did there in that school?" he continued. "Oh, storytelling and I was a storyteller", I replied. "Now you're a storyteller. You sure have a lot of jobs, Mama," he concluded. And I just laughed in agreement.